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Sukhmandir Khalsa

Traditional Salvar Kamees and Male Accountability

By January 8, 2013

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Featured Photo: Traditional Punjabi Suit Salvar Kamees and Chunni

Beautiful as it is graceful, the traditional style of 3-piece Punjabi suit for women includes Chunni (scarf), Kamees (dress) and Salvar (pant).

You may or may not be aware of a tragic incident which occurred 1/2 16/2012 involving the brutal, and ultimately fatal, gang rape of a 23 year old girl in Delhi, India. A badly beaten male friend who tried to protect her suffered injuries including a broken leg. Five men and a 17 year old boy are being charged.

Vibha Rao, chairperson of Chhattisgarh State Women Commission stated that women who are raped are "equally responsible."
Asaram Bapu, an Indian holy man, remarked that "the victim... is as guilty as her rapists ... she should have called them brother and begged them to stop."
Akal Takhat jathadar Giani Gurbachan Singh advised women to wear appropriate traditional clothing to protect themselves from being violently assaulted by roving males.

While I'd like to believe these public figures are hoping to be helpful, I'm having difficulty absorbing the message that women are somehow responsible for the actions of men? WHAT?
I'm sorry, but I adamantly disagree. Each and every person is accountable for their own actions. It is a man's responsibility man to consider, and respect, every woman other than his wife as his sister, mother or daughter regardless of what she is, or isn't, wearing. No one's conduct should dictate another's. Self control is what separates human beings from animals. The holy scripture of Guru Granth Sahib instructs that the voices of ego driven passions may be subdued by meditation on naam, but regardless of whether or not some one chooses to meditate, they must sill be held accountable for their actions. As much as I love graceful traditional clothing, and encourage its wear, I feel very strongly, and must insist, that immodest dress is neither a license, nor an invitation, for assault.

I hope that you will join me in my protest, and speak out in favor of male accountability.

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Keep Up On Sikhism With Sukhmandir Kaur
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January 8, 2013 at 11:15 pm
(1) Yehudis says:

Bravo for speaking out for truth so eloquently, Sukhmandir Kaur Khalsa!
You have crystallized this important issue so well.


January 9, 2013 at 12:09 am
(2) Susan says:

Very well expressed, and I could not agree more.

January 9, 2013 at 2:37 am
(3) Abood says:

Informative article, thanks.

January 9, 2013 at 2:46 am
(4) Doris says:

Sukhmandir, I agree totally! I can’t believe anyone would say it’s the woman’s fault. It doesn’t matter what she was wearing; there’s no such thing as an invitation to rape.

January 9, 2013 at 3:48 am
(5) Reno, the Biggest Little City says:

I sincerely hope the court in India punishes those responsible for this horrific crime. However, as long as most of the world seems to see women as second class citizens, I fear it will be a long time before justice is truly achieved in cases like this.

January 9, 2013 at 5:28 am
(6) Caite says:

What a truly horrible thing to happen..and not helped by the foolish words of such ‘leaders’.

January 9, 2013 at 9:38 am
(7) Gattina says:

Of course I saw this terrible event on TV and was also scandalized that so many rapes happen in India ! It’s hard to believe ! I hope that at least now it will change !
The dress is beautiful, I would wear it too !

January 9, 2013 at 12:27 pm
(8) imaddy says:

What a horrific crime. I hope that she did not die in vain and that her death will bring change.

January 9, 2013 at 1:20 pm
(9) aquariann says:

She is beautiful. Men should be held accountable for violent behavior. *shudder*

January 9, 2013 at 1:44 pm
(10) sukhmandir Singh khalsa says:

Until Rape is seen as (what it is) a violent crime and not a crime only of passion then women will always be blamed! Time for India and the rest of the world to wake up and deal with reality!

January 9, 2013 at 3:20 pm
(11) Jarnail from Manchester UK says:

Hi Sukhmandir,
“Well done for highlighting this horrific act”
I strongly agree that women should not be held responsible for the wicked and horrific acts conducted by their partners, husbands or the general public, no matter where in the world.

I hope India would take this opportunity very seriously and send a clear and loud message that this kind of act sadly can only be capital punishment!!

January 9, 2013 at 6:29 pm
(12) LifeRamblings says:

The outfit is gorgeous. I definitely agree. Sexual assault is never the victim’s fault. If a rapist has the intention to attack, he’s going to do it no matter what the girl is wearing.

January 10, 2013 at 12:58 am
(13) Cafe au lait says:

What a terrible thing to happen.

January 10, 2013 at 1:09 am
(14) Anil Mishra says:

I totally agree with your views that the onus of respecting women rests on the male & a lady should have the right to live her life as per her choice. The only problem is that the quality & temperament of a percentage of males today in India – with poor or no education, family, upbringing, TV, films,environment – all add up to finally create this very dangerous prowling male – who is always on the look out for defenseless females – so the remedy is to understand the risks of the place/society that you live in & then act accordingly – forget the police/ administration – depend only on yourself – always gauge the risk you are putting yourself into – be very very careful. It will take years & years for the police / administration/ prowling males to improve – be safe

January 10, 2013 at 2:02 am
(15) AVCr8teur says:

I agree with you! I can’t believe people still think the victim is responsible in this day and age.

January 10, 2013 at 4:13 am
(16) Colette S @JamericanSpice says:

You say it as I would.

A victim cannot be responsible for the crime done to that person.

I wept at such a terrible happening for hours upon this beautiful girl. I’m glad she lived long enough to make the world outrage enough to demand change.

Laws are and should be in place to protect/defend people who will be on the receiving end of criminal acts done upon them.

It hurts so much that even now, women are seen as nothing and we must continue to fight to be simply : human.

January 10, 2013 at 10:15 am
(17) Nancy says:

Thank you for drawing attention to these statements by public figures. I agree with you – clothing does not constitute an invitation to any type of aggression or assault.

In fact, the so-called “leaders” who have made these statements have given great insult to men, implying that they are too weak to control themselves and that they have no reason to take responsibility for themselves. They have, of course, also insulted women by trying to make them responsible for someone else’s criminal behavior. As a woman, I’m outraged by these statements, and were I a man, I would be outraged, too.

January 12, 2013 at 1:15 am
(18) Surinder Pal Singh says:

There is no need to be overprotective but there is need to be strong willed.

January 12, 2013 at 1:20 am
(19) Surinder Pal Singh says:

There is no need to over protective but there is need to be strong willed.

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