Sikh Wedding Hymn, "Pallai Taiddai Laagee"

Song of Sikh Marriage, "I Grasp Hold of Your Hem"

An essential part of every Sikh marriage ceremony involves the joining together the bride and groom by the palla, a symbolic bond of lasting partnership. The word palla means the edge or hem of a garment. The palla is six feet or more in length and can be:

• A Long scarf.
• A length of turban.
• A Lo-ee or shawl.

The palla is draped over the groom’s shoulder by his sister or other relative. The bride’s father arranges the palla around the shoulders groom and bride giving the right end to the groom to hold and the left end to the bride to hold. At this time a hymn composed by Guru Arjan Dev is sung symbolizing the attachment of the bride and groom to each other, and to God:

"Oustat nindaa naanak jee mai habh vanjaa-ee chhorr-i-aa habh kijh ti-aagee||
Praise and Slander, Oh Nanak, I discard entirely, abandoning and forsaking all other affairs.

Ha-bhae saak koo-rraa-vae ddi-ttae to pallai taiddai laagee||1||
Having seen that all other relationships are false, I grasp hold of Your hem.||1|| SGGS||963

During the wedding as the four hymns of lavan, composed by Guru Raam Das, are sung, the bride and groom walk around the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. The groom walks a head of bride holding on to his end of the palla. The bride walks behind him holding on to her end. The position of the couple while holding the palla in no way indicates dominion or submission on either the part of the bride or groom. Walking together harmoniously while tethered by the palla, and adjusting to each other’s pace, is the first of many negotiations and compromises a wedded couple makes together during a life time of marriage.